Rearranging Truths

by Virginia Benvenuto

When you rearrange your life for the sake of those closest to you --the most vulnerable-- and you convince yourself that this is the best for them and everyone else around you and you forgive, but maybe deep down you have that nagging feeling that you cannot forget, and the real truth haunts you as you make peace with those closest to you, but yet you don't' because you don't share the real truth of who you really are and what you have done, then you continue living the same lie as before, except now you're trapped into another even bigger lie than before because you're afraid to tell those closest to you, how you really feel, who you really are and what you've really done.

The fear of facing your own self and not admitting your own mistakes, the fear of being judged and rejected, the fear that no one will understand your life cravings, the fear that if you tell the truth you'll be exiled. In the end, you're exiling yourself within yourself and still living a lie as a dark cloud of fear follows you everywhere you go until you face yourself and speak the truth. 

Until then, you're still trapped and living two truths,the real truth and the rearranged truth… your self-created lie, a life lie to keep yourself happy but deep down you're not because you have a conscious that is impregnated with lies and imprisoned within you that will not disappear and will not allow you to be happy until you release it because "it" and only "it" knows the real truth. Then and only then will you meet true happiness as you once knew it.