BEHIND THE NAME

I finally decided to get to it after years of procrastination and several friends insisting that I "get to it".  I have always been very private but here I am doing something that I normally would not do in real life because aside from close friends asking me to do this for quite some time… my inner voice has joined forces with them and so now I feel it is time.

 So here is my blog… a place where I will share bits and pieces of my life. There might be times when you might smile, laugh or even shed tears of joy, sadness or of gladness and I hope that somewhere... "within your heart"… something might ignite what is hidden within you from darkness into light and spark a change within your heart.

How did I come up with the name for my blog?  Well, actually I did not. I wrote an email to my step-mother, Sonya Ayling, and knowing how very creative she can be with this sort of thing, I asked her to put on her thinking cap. The only thing that I did share with her was that it had to be a name with a very special meaning... with a touch of history behind it. So she sent me a long list with potential names (some of which I thought were quite funny and witty) and tucked away right towards the end, I spotted "Within My Heart" and a short explanation about its origins…. 

"Within My Heart" is the name of a poem on the back of a photograph of my father and that my grand-mother carried with her for many years. Here it is.

Within My Heart

O, how I love to reminisce
   (As mothers always do)
Relive again within my heart
   The childhood days of you
I picture you upon the floor
   With blocks and cars and train
The little wooden soldiers, too
   And every kind of plane

The day you started off to school—
   It was a big event.
I see you now, your rosy face
   As down the street you went.
You liked to skate and ride a bike  

   Then added to the list
The love of books and radio—
   There wasn’t much you missed

The little boy has disappeared
   Except, perhaps to me
Today you wear a uniform,
   You're far across the sea
How very proud I am of you
   And all that you have done
But reminiscing plays its part
  And brings you close, my son
                             —Hilda Butler Farr

Knowing what my grand-mother and my father went through when he was very young, when I read Hilda Butler Farr's poem, I immediately knew that  

"Within My Heart" was it.  

It describes it all too well... the sadness within my grand-mother's heart and the unbearable choice that haunted her for years. You see, my grandmother, had to say good-bye to her only son when he was very young and this is another story in itself...

So, I have chosen "Within My Heart" because everything we all hold so dear lies... within our heart. Thus, there is no other name more fitting for this blog considering all the unveiling that will follow once I start sharing my life with you as we give a little… smile a little… live a little… love a little more… together.